Lost
by Angel of Fire SG1
Summary: Sam suffers from what occured at the end of the Lost City...(SJ)


**Lost**

**SPOILERS: **_The __Lost__City__ pt I & II…and anything before that_

**PAIRINGS: **_Sam/Jack  
_**SEASON: **_Between 7 & 8…no spoilers for season 8 included_

**DISCLAIMER: **_SG-1 was given to me for my birthday last year…its all mine and I can do wat I like with it :P…J/K!! It belongs to …MGM or Sci-fi Ch or whoever owns it lol!! TPTB!!! They're just lending it to me!_

**SUMMARY: **_My version of the events following after The __Lost__City__ pt II_

**A/N: **_Hi guys!! Back again…I did have another TLC fic…but sooo many people had fics like it I decided to expand on it lol…here we go :D_

_AAAH IM SORRY BOUT THE WRONG QUOTES!! I copied them off a website…I guess the site was wrong…whoops…changed them now_

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Sam watched her computer screen blankly. She was sure she'd been looking something up, but she'd already forgotten what she was planning to search for. Her mind was a complete blank. She slammed her fist down on the keyboard, trying to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes.

_Her hand lay flat against the glass, his eyes bore into hers and she knew that's how he had frozen, looking at her. She didn't want to move because that could mean it was the last she'd ever look into his eyes._

No_, she told herself._

_"Sam…we have to go," Daniel said._

_Teal'c remained silent, but stared at her. None of them wanted to move, but someone had to or they'd stand there forever._

_"I don…" she choked on her words._

_Not wanting to cry she nodded, sliding her hand down the glass and looking at his face one more time._

_"Come on," Daniel said._

_He headed for the exit, followed closely by Teal'c. Sam lingered behind for a moment and then turned, following them…_

"Sam you OK?" came a voice from the door.

She looked up to see a familiar standing there. 

"I'm fine, Daniel" she said, releasing her clenched fist and removing it from the keyboard. "How are you?"

"I'm fine…" he said, then he paused. "I'm worried about you Sam…you haven't been yourself since…"

"I'm FINE," she replied.

She wanted to talk to Janet…she had to talk to Janet. But she was gone. She wasn't there. 

A tear rolled down her face.

"Sam…"

"Don't worry Daniel…it's nothing…" she said, wiping the tear from her cheek and holding back more.

"Sam we're going to save him."

"Just like we could've saved Janet? Is that how this world works? No he's gone, he's dead I'll never see him again I'll never get to tell him…" she stopped, her voice cracking. 

_"Sir, I think you should know that General Hammond authorized me to take command of the team if anything…" she started._

_"Do it now," he cut her off, looking at her._

_"Sir I don't think that's necessary…" she replied, not wanting it to be necessary. _

_The red lights of the room flickered around them._

_"I trust you…" the words meant more to her than anyone else could possible imagine. "I'll make it easy for you, I resign…" he looked at her, tilting his head to the side. "You're in charge."_

_Sam paused for a moment. "OK…"_

_For a few seconds she watched him fiddling with the crystals of the engine. She knew this could be her last chance…_

_"Sir at your place, before Daniel and Teal'c showed up…what I was going to say was…" she stopped as he rose again and looked into her eyes._

_"I know," he stated, for a few moments he stared into her eyes, hoping she understood, willing her to do so._

_She did._

_He turned back and shoved the last crystal in. Then he stood up and faced her again._

_"Me too…" he whispered quietly._

_The words stung at the same time as a wash of relief swum over her. Without saying the words they both knew, they both agreed and they both understood._

_"I…" Sam tried to think of something to say._

_At the same moment she felt a hand take hers. She looked down and then back up in surprise. _

_"Sir I…we…" _

_"No 'sir', Sam…I resigned remember?" he said, moving closer._

_She nodded slowly. He was now millimetres from her face. She looked into his eyes and then closed her own, leaning forward. Their lips met and they embraced in a soft kiss. It wasn't passionate or hungry…it was soft and meaningful. It said even more than the words they had used._

_Sam pulled away from him and stepped back, still holding onto his hand.___

_"We shouldn't…when you come back you'll be my CO again and…"_

_"Carter…I won't be coming back," he said._

_"No," she said. "We never leave anyone behind remember? I'm not going to let you die."_

_"Sam there's nothing…" he looked away. "We should get back out there._

_She nodded._

Sam sat staring at Daniel and Teal'c who were sitting opposite her in the coffee shop. This is where she used to come to meet Janet, the same place she had met Pete before work. 

Pete…

She didn't need to think about him at the moment. 

Daniel and Teal'c were in the middle of an in-depth discussion about whether or not it was right for Daniel to steal the sugar from the table of the coffee shop.

She smiled slightly, the first time she had since Antarctica.

"How about we all go and buy some sugar after this?" Sam suggested.

"Or we could do that…" Daniel said. "So we have downtime this week huh? Who's up for TV at my place?"

"I believe that would be a great plan DanielJackson…" Teal'c said. "MajorCarter will you join us?"

"I dunno…I have other stuff planned…" she replied.

"Oh come on Sam, you're not gonna hang around base doing science experiments are you?" Daniel asked.

"Actually no, I just wanted to get away for a while," she replied.

_Sam was deep into her welding when she heard a loud shout over the top of the noise._

_"CARTER!" came the familiar voice._

_She removed her face shield and smiled. "Hi sir, how's Daniel?"_

_"Oh, he's gonna be fine," Jack replied. "What're you doing?"_

_"Uh, I'm getting ready to do a detailed analysis of the decay rate of naquada within the reactor. It's really quite amazing, I mean unlike plutonium, it actually has…"_

_Jack held up his hands to stop her. "Ah I'm on vacation!"_

_Sam smiled understandingly. "Yes, sir."_

_"So are you…" he said._

_"I know, it's not that I'm happy that Daniel's in excruciating pain or anything but I've been looking forward to an opportunity like this for quite some time…"_

_Jack cut her off. "You know maybe its just me but I thought when one got some leave, one actually left. Daniel's recuperating, Teal'c's off visiting his kid somewhere, personally, I have a date with a lake in __Minnesota__ where the bass grows that big." _

_He held his arms wide apart._

_Sam smiled. "Really?" she asked, a sarcastic tone to her voice._

_"Oh yes," he replied, playing on her sarcasm. "See what I'm describing here, Carter, involves a very special element…"_

_"This is fun to me sir," she replied, pre-empting what he was about to say._

_"Well…if playing with your little reaction sounds better than exploring the lakes and natural beauty of __Northern Minnesota__, there's not much I can do…" he hinted._

_She looked surprised for a moment. "Was that an invitation?" then quickly she added, "sir?"_

_"Nothing wrong with that is there? Couple of co-workers, friends if you will, fishing. It'd be fun!" he said happily._

_Sam smiled. "Wow, I appreciate the offer, sir, really. Sounds great. But I should…"_

_Jack held his hands up. "No sweat! See you in a week. And by all means, have fun!"_

_He walked out the door. Sam stood in her spot smiling. She really wanted to go…maybe she should just run after him. No…it was him. She seemed to have developed some kind of stupid crush on him recently. Ok maybe it was more than a crush…it was something. _

_She jogged out of the room after him._

_"Colonel!" she called. _

_He turned to face her, leaning his head to one side and raising an eyebrow. Someone walked into the hallway in the background._

_"Uh…" she started._

_Suddenly she lost all courage and her smile faded._

_"Have a good time…" she said instead._

Sam stood in front of the cabin, watching the door. She wondered what she was doing there, staring at the door. She wanted to go in, but at the same time she was afraid. 

Which of course was stupid, he'd invited her here…now she was just taking up the offer…without him.

Instead of walking up to the house, she walked around the side and looked at the dock. She guessed that was where he spent the hours fishing. She walked over to it and sat down, hanging her legs off the edge.

_"There are no fish in that lake." _

Teal'c's warning rung through her mind. She smiled. It was such a Jack thing, to fish holiday after holiday…downtime after downtime…in the same lake – which had no fish in it. 

She sat there for hours, watching the sun set. Suddenly it started getting extremely cold.

She stood up and walked to the cabin, opening the front door and walking inside. She searched through the house till she found the kitchen. There was a fireplace there, she found some matches on top and lit it. Then she went to the fridge and opened it.

"Beer…what a surprise…" she smiled and took one.

She sat down on the couch and watched the fire burning. Her eye fell on a diary like book sitting on the table. She reached forward and picked it up.

She debated for a moment whether to open it or not…and decided against it. It was his privacy. She was just surprised he'd keep one.

She threw the book back at the table but it fell off…falling open on the ground.

**_I love her but I can't tell her_**

She read the line written at the bottom of the paper. It was the last line he'd written in his diary. He looked up and saw the line above it.

**_I still have this horrible problem…her name is Major Samantha Carter._**

****

Something had obviously interrupted him while he was writing this, it seemed incomplete.

She searched around for a pen and grabbed it. She scrawled six words under his last sentence.

**_I love you too…Love Sam_**

****

If he ever came back here, he'd read it and he'd know.

And he was going to come back.

He always came back…

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**A/N: Thanks for reading!! Please review :D:D**


End file.
